Opening Credits…

I love movies. If you know me, you know that already. Most people have a knack for sports info or the history of political regimes. Me? Movies. I even have a special award for “bestest film knowledge.” Thanks Kevin!

My Netflix queue is normally between 350-400 items long. Some of these are tv shows, but a majority are movies.  If you are or have been a customer of Netflix/Blockbuster, you will know that movies you’ve never heard of appear in suggestions or genre searches. Sometimes, I actually select these. Some of them turn out to be insanely cool films. (I’m looking at you, Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang).  But on occasion, I end up with a definite turkey.  I’ve lost count of the number of movies I’ve started that I couldn’t finish because they were so stupid or because I’d rather clean than have to sit through the lack of plot/character development/budget for quality effects.  Seriously…

So, a thought occurred to me the other night that I could use my powers for good, and be a beacon of warning to the masses. I’ll venture alone to the turkey shoot and call out the truly misguided productions that someone actually green-lit.  I’ll watch these movies so you don’t have to.  I’ll even toss in the odd spoiler or two just to keep things interesting.

How does one determine a bad film?  You just kind of know (sort of like how you know that container of leftovers should never be opened but instead just thrown away).  Has it aired on Syfy ever? Then, it’s probably not Oscar-worthy.  If this movie played in a theater near me, would I be too embarrassed to suggest it to my friends?  Yes, yes, and yes. Prime examples of that last question include Ultraviolet and King Arthur.  I’m not 100% sure as to how I’ll pick my movies, but I’ll know them when I see them. And if you’d like to make some suggestions, I’ll take them under advisement.

Here are my blog rules thus far:

  1. I must post a review or topic of discussion at least once a week. This is a rule for me. Because if I go off schedule, I’ll stay off schedule.
  2. The movie must have a rating of 3 stars or fewer on Netflix.
  3. The movie must feature at least 1 Canadian.  Ha, I’m just joking there. But have you noticed how many bad movies have Canadians in them or are filmed in Canada? It’s like a rule or something.

So that’s all I have for this first go-round. I’ve already picked out my first review.  What’s the movie? You’ll have to tune in and see.


About Andrea

Movie watcher; book addict; popular culture connoisseur; avid Tetris player. That's me!

Posted on June 5, 2012, in Rants and tagged . Bookmark the permalink. 5 Comments.

  1. First, and subscribed! Bring it on. ;D

  2. The excitement builds! What can the first review be… 🙂

  3. I have a problem with movies that get low ratings or reviews, but actually turn out to be somewhat cool and possibly purchase worthy films – if even for that late night ice cream and rum binge with good friends. Returner comes to mind. It may be a meh film, but I love it! Would you take these types of suggestions?

  4. I just figured that anything with 4 stars or more was definitely well-loved. Anything less might be more deserving of a second look. Yes, I’ll make fun of it, but I’ll also be celebrating it’s quirks. Sometimes those ARE the best ones. Ah Returner…..

  5. I’ll be completely honest– your approval of “Kiss Kiss Bang Bang” TOTALLY won me over. Also, your ability to have 300-400 movies on your Netflix queue without hyperventilating MUST be a superpower.

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