The Wonder Woman Movie
Like most people, I had an imaginary friend when I was little. Her name was Wonder Woman. We had many adventures together fighting crime in my backyard or down the street with the neighbor kids.
Wonder Woman was awesome. She held her own against Superman, Batman, and all the other dudes who worked within the Hall of Justice on Super Friends. She flew an invisible jet. She had good hair, and wore insane red boots. Thanks to my 80s childhood, I got to watch WW in two different formats: animated on Super Friends and then the live-action form of Lynda Carter on Wonder Woman. I used to spin and spin hoping to activate my own super powers. Instead, I activated some dizziness.
So you would think that when I read in this week’s issue of Entertainment Weekly that a Wonder Woman movie had finally been greenlit, I’d be doing the Dance of Joy. That’s not the case. Instead, I was filled with nothing but dread.
I’ve seen what Hollywood has done to any female superhero/comic book character who gets her own movie. They ruin her. Let’s look at a few examples:
- Super Girl: This is the end-all, be-all horrible movie for female superheroes. I remember seeing this when I was a kid and having high hopes. I also remember being disappointed. Helen Slater plays the titular character, and she tries. She really does. But the story played out too much, and it just was BAD. Peter O’Toole and Faye Dunaway couldn’t help this stinker. I’d really just love to banish the whole film to the Phantom Zone. I think that would help.
- Elektra: This movie was a spin-off from Dare Devil starring Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner. DD did very well in theaters, and folks really liked Garner. She was on Alias at the time where she was happily working as a kick-ass spy with an endless supply of wigs and disguises. The movie was supposed to be an origin story for her Elektra character that we met in DD. The movie came across as really flat, and I’ll mention here that I’ve never been able to watch it all the way through.
- Catwoman: Oh Halle Berry! Catwoman was just awful. Horrible! Bad, bad bad. [*using my water gun* Bad kitty!!]
Now, if a female superhero is part of an ensemble, it’s a whole different scenario:
- Black Widow: The only chick in The Avengers movie this summer (well, the only superhero chick) and she holds her own just fine. She also kicked some ass in Iron Man 2.
- Rogue/Jean Grey/Mystique/Storm: The X-Menmovies were fun, and even though I really only had eyes for Wolverine, the aforementioned characters were noticed. My favorite is Rogue even though by the third movie, she’s a bit of a whiner.
- Catwoman: What, again? Yes, only this is Michelle Pfeiffer in Batman Returns. She was insanein this movie. Awesome.
I’m not sure why it works out only when the lady is part of an ensemble cast, but based on the evidence, that’s what we’ve got.
A number of months ago, there was talk of a Wonder Woman tv series. It would be the long-awaited return to the small screen. I think a pilot was shot, there were some promo pics of our heroine. The photos were of some chick in a Wonder Woman costume. She had the hair, and she had the outfit. Yay-rah. But she didn’t stand out as WW. She just looked like a chick in a costume. I quietly celebrated when the plug was pulled on that one. It just felt wrong.
I’ve read a number of times that Joss Whedon had been very interested in doing a WW movie or tv project. I was all on board for his rendition. So far he hasn’t let me down. However, for some reason or another, he’s not our man for the proposed WW project. Nope. Instead, we have Michael Goldenberg writing the movie. He was co-writer for last summer’s The Green Lantern. Man…oh man. That movie was, in my opinion, not very good. I remember enjoying it while watching, but I wasn’t blown away. I was kind of bored. I even (and this is a huge insult as far as I’m concerned) forgot I saw it about a week after I saw it. So I worry.
I hear word that the DC Comics folks are working on a possible Justice League flick. They’ve seen the success of the Marvel characters, and now they want to try it out with their own folks. That’s cool. And like the Marvel folks, they probably want to set up individual movies first to get the public interested. Man of Steel with Henry Cavill will be out next summer. We’ve already seen The Green Lantern, and I’m very interested to see if DC tries to work Batman into the mix. They can’t leave him out, can they?
It makes sense that DC wants to do a Wonder Woman flick at this time. I’m just so worried that if this film falls into the same spot as the previous solo heroine films, a childhood icon will be forever tainted. I’d almost rather no movie be made. If a WW movie was done right, however, I would be first in line for tickets. Maybe Joss Whedon can write one just for me?