I am the Oscar Master!!!

Greetings faithful minions. Tis I, the Oscar Master. I had a 75% accuracy rating this go-round. Also, I am soooo tired. The Oscar telecast didn’t end until midnight. I wasn’t able to get to sleep until 1am, and then I had to get up at 6. But you don’t care about my lack of sleep or the amount of concealer I had to use this morning, do you? No, because I know you are still in awe of my bright and shiny “Oscar Master” status. Needless to say, I won this year’s wager with my friend, Crint. There were seven categories where we differed, and I swept the lot of them.

Sometime late in the evening, after I had sealed the deal on my win, Crint sent me a text asking if I was going to refer to him as Crint the Loser in my blog post. Of course not! He is a very worthy opponent. First of all, he had seen all the movies; I had not. Second, he’s up on his awards show know-how. Okay, fine. I’ll use it just the one time a little later in the post.

Enough happy dancing and gloating. Okay, fine. I’ll do a last one of these and then I’m done.

As for the ceremony, I thought Seth MacFarlane did a fine job. It’s a tough gig. I thought the stint at the beginning where he and William Shatner (as Captain Kirk) tried to alter time to avoid a bad review was pretty funny albeit a little long. The  Flying Nun bit was a hoot.

It seemed that the theme of the evening might have been a salute to the movie musical. There were song and dance numbers all through the telecast. If we had chopped them down, we might have saved 45 minutes or so. If MacFarlane wasn’t singing about boobs (and it was funny!), then it was a long section starting with a performance of the entire “All that Jazz” from Chicago (meh) followed by Jennifer Hudson singing all of “And I am Telling You…” from Dreamgirls. Then the cast of Les Miserables came onstage to sing One Day More. It was all good, but again, long. Then later in the show, after the memorial section, Barbara Streisand crooned “The Way We Were.” Good grief!

There was one musical performance, however, that was totally worth it. As a salute to 50 years of James Bond, Shirley Bassey belted out “Goldfinger” and just wowed everyone.

I had one award grievance. I felt the Best Song nominees who weren’t named Adele were given the crap end of the stick last night.  During the Les Mis portion of a musical number, Hugh Jackman started in on the opening bars of “Suddenly.”  A little while later in the show Adele had an entire showcase for “Skyfall” complete with on-stage orchestra and backup chorus. Then later on, Norah Jones stood solo on the stage, and was able to sing a little bit of “Everybody Needs a Best Friend” from Ted. What about the songs from Life of Pi and Chasing Ice? They played snippets of those via film clips right before the award was handed out. I don’t know. Maybe it’s cause I’m not an Adele fan, but it didn’t feel like equal screen time.  Whatever, I’m the Oscar Master! I got 18 of 24 right! If only my fortune-telling skills worked for useful things like the lottery or investment options. Oh well.

My favorite things from last night:

  • Jennifer Lawrence’s classy recovery from falling over as she made her way to the stage to receive her Oscar.
  • Daniel Day-Lewis’ funny speech about swapping roles with Meryl Streep (he to play Margaret Thatcher and she to play Lincoln).
  • The Von Trapp Family Singers bit (probably tasteless, but I laughed)
  • Beards. Almost every man in the Dolby Theatre was sporting a beard. Not everyone rocked the facial fuzz. George Clooney, while a very dashing man 99% of the time, looked to me like he was about 20 lbs away from playing the role of George Lucas in some biopic. Hugh Jackman and Chris Pine, on the other hand…Hello Nurse!
  • Ben Affleck’s heartfelt speech when Argo won for Best Picture. Way to go, Ben!

Questions from Last Night

  • Why were there so many beards?
  • What happened to Kristen Stewart? At one point in the ceremony, she and Daniel Radcliffe were onstage together. Not only did she limp her way out to the mic, but then she seemed to impatiently (or maybe nervously) tap her foot the whole time. Also, she looked as if she had been rolling around on the floor prior to heading onstage. Maybe there was a celebrity wrestling ring back there or something.
  • Did George Clooney actually (a) open and if so (b) drink the mini-bottle of Jack Daniels that MacFarlane tossed his way?
  • Why was the awards show orchestra playing in a studio down the street instead of at the Dolby?
  • Bonus: Did everyone notice Hugh Jackman start towards the stage to assist Jennifer Lawrence when she fell? He’s just so wonderful.

So that’s that, kids. Oscar Master for now, and then I get to defend my title in 2014. As winner of this year’s wager, I not only get the groovy title, but I also get treated to the movie of my choice by Crint the Loser (It is a catchy nickname, isn’t it?). I’m debating between Jack the Giant Slayer and Oz the Great and Powerful. Thoughts?

BTW, I have recapped the winners below in case you are interested.

Best Picture:  Argo 

Best Director: Ang Lee for Life of Pi

Best Actor in Leading Role: Daniel Day-Lewis for Lincoln

Best Actress in a Leading Role: Jennifer Lawrence for Silver Linings Playbook

Supporting Actor:  Christoph Waltz for Django Unchained

Supporting Actress: Anne Hathaway for Les Miserables

Cinematography: Life of Pi

Animated Feature Film:  Brave

Foreign Language Film: Amour

Film Editing: Argo

Adapted Screenplay: Argo

Original Screenplay: Django Unchained

Original Score: Life of Pi

Documentary (Feature): Searching for Sugar Man

Documentary (Short):  Inocente

Visual Effects: Life of Pi

Short Film (Animated): Paperman

Short Film (Live Action): Curfew

Production Design:  Lincoln

Costume Design: Anna Karenina

Sound Editing: Zero Dark Thirty

Sound Mixing: Les Miserables

Make-up:  Les Miserables

Original Song: “Skyfall” (Skyfall)

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About Andrea

Movie watcher; book addict; popular culture connoisseur; avid Tetris player. That's me!

Posted on February 25, 2013, in Roundup and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Comments Off on I am the Oscar Master!!!.

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